Saturday, January 31, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Obviously fake/trolljob but I found it hilarious
Link
How do I explain away something like this?
today after football practice, we were all in the shower and this guy started talking about what he was gonna do to his GF, me not having fapped in over 3 weeks started to get a hardon, so I turned away so no one can see it, right about then a guy said "he is popping wood, f***ing f*g!" so I turned and was kinda pissed off, but then a towel smacked my butt and my reaction was to thrust forward with my hips rather forcefully, this guy that was next to me had just bent over to pick up his bar of soap... and I guess his butthole was all soaped up
thing is, my hard PENIS went up his anus right away, it was as if it just glided right in. He let out a scream and I tried pushing him off me but we ended up falling, he was trying to stand up and I was trying to push away from him so that my penis would come out of his butt, so that led to him pushing back and me pushing back...
IT LOOKED as if I was buttsexing him, a couple seconds of that and my penis was free, everybody kept calling me a fa**ot and I ended up getting in a fight with the guy, when the coach came in, we had to explain and now I am suspended from team and he is gonna talk to my parents
I have washed dick for the past 4 hours, anything else I can do to stop thinking I have commited a gay act?
if my GF finds out she'll leave me, she is in the school band
19 hours ago - 3 days left to answer.
How do I explain away something like this?
today after football practice, we were all in the shower and this guy started talking about what he was gonna do to his GF, me not having fapped in over 3 weeks started to get a hardon, so I turned away so no one can see it, right about then a guy said "he is popping wood, f***ing f*g!" so I turned and was kinda pissed off, but then a towel smacked my butt and my reaction was to thrust forward with my hips rather forcefully, this guy that was next to me had just bent over to pick up his bar of soap... and I guess his butthole was all soaped up
thing is, my hard PENIS went up his anus right away, it was as if it just glided right in. He let out a scream and I tried pushing him off me but we ended up falling, he was trying to stand up and I was trying to push away from him so that my penis would come out of his butt, so that led to him pushing back and me pushing back...
IT LOOKED as if I was buttsexing him, a couple seconds of that and my penis was free, everybody kept calling me a fa**ot and I ended up getting in a fight with the guy, when the coach came in, we had to explain and now I am suspended from team and he is gonna talk to my parents
I have washed dick for the past 4 hours, anything else I can do to stop thinking I have commited a gay act?
if my GF finds out she'll leave me, she is in the school band
19 hours ago - 3 days left to answer.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Guy fired for washing his ass - Australia
Amador Bernabe fired for 'un-Australian toilet habits'
Townsville Bulletin
January 24, 2009 12:11pm
A MAN who uses water instead of toilet paper says he was sacked for his "un-Australian" toilet habits.
Amador Bernabe, 43, is a machine operator in Townsville on a working visa from the Philippines, the Townsville Bulletin reports.
On Thursday, he claims his foreman followed him into the bathrooms questioning his toilet hygiene.
Mr Bernabe said his employer, Townsville Engineering Industries (TEI), sacked him yesterday for not going to the toilet the Australian way.
"I went to go to the toilet and I took a bottle of water when my foreman saw me and he said, 'you can't bring the water in there'," Mr Bernabe said.
The foreman followed Mr Bernabe into the toilet despite his protests.
"I said it's my personal hygiene. I didn't break any law, I didn't break any rules of the company, why can't I do this, and he said he would report me to the manager.
The next day, Mr Bernabe says he was called into the manager's office.
"He asked me what had happened and I explained to him and he said if I didn't follow the Australian way I would be immediately terminated and I said 'sir, then you better terminate me'."
The move has angered union bosses and politicians on the Australia Day weekend.
Australian Manufacturing Worker's Union state organiser Rick Finch said the incident was shocking.
"I think it is atrocious, an invasion of a person's rights and cultural beliefs," he said.
"If it wasn't so disgusting it would almost be laughable."
Greens spokeswoman Jenny Stirling praised Mr Bernabe for standing up for his rights.
"I commend the man for standing up for himself and I encourage the employer to have further talks with the union and the employee and I am sure commonsense will prevail," she said.
"I would like to see how Australians feel when they go to Europe where in places they don't have toilet paper."
TEI could not be reached for comment.
Townsville Bulletin
January 24, 2009 12:11pm
A MAN who uses water instead of toilet paper says he was sacked for his "un-Australian" toilet habits.
Amador Bernabe, 43, is a machine operator in Townsville on a working visa from the Philippines, the Townsville Bulletin reports.
On Thursday, he claims his foreman followed him into the bathrooms questioning his toilet hygiene.
Mr Bernabe said his employer, Townsville Engineering Industries (TEI), sacked him yesterday for not going to the toilet the Australian way.
"I went to go to the toilet and I took a bottle of water when my foreman saw me and he said, 'you can't bring the water in there'," Mr Bernabe said.
The foreman followed Mr Bernabe into the toilet despite his protests.
"I said it's my personal hygiene. I didn't break any law, I didn't break any rules of the company, why can't I do this, and he said he would report me to the manager.
The next day, Mr Bernabe says he was called into the manager's office.
"He asked me what had happened and I explained to him and he said if I didn't follow the Australian way I would be immediately terminated and I said 'sir, then you better terminate me'."
The move has angered union bosses and politicians on the Australia Day weekend.
Australian Manufacturing Worker's Union state organiser Rick Finch said the incident was shocking.
"I think it is atrocious, an invasion of a person's rights and cultural beliefs," he said.
"If it wasn't so disgusting it would almost be laughable."
Greens spokeswoman Jenny Stirling praised Mr Bernabe for standing up for his rights.
"I commend the man for standing up for himself and I encourage the employer to have further talks with the union and the employee and I am sure commonsense will prevail," she said.
"I would like to see how Australians feel when they go to Europe where in places they don't have toilet paper."
TEI could not be reached for comment.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
To the woman who crapped her pants in my car
Actual post on craigslist
http://humboldt.craigslist.org/rnr/989335350.html
Reply to: pers-989335350@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2009-01-11, 7:55PM PST
We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.
I thought we had chemistry sitting at 6 rivers sharing that basket of hot wings while drinking the chili beer. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.
At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don’t feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said “First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me” was meant to be funny, not offensive.
I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat...
What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.
I await your call,
Tad
P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early…Touché…
Location: mckinleyville
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 989335350
Now thats classy guy eh?
Hope its not her:
*Barfs in my mouth*
http://humboldt.craigslist.org/rnr/989335350.html
Reply to: pers-989335350@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2009-01-11, 7:55PM PST
We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.
I thought we had chemistry sitting at 6 rivers sharing that basket of hot wings while drinking the chili beer. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.
At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don’t feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said “First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me” was meant to be funny, not offensive.
I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat...
What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.
I await your call,
Tad
P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early…Touché…
Location: mckinleyville
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 989335350
Now thats classy guy eh?
Hope its not her:
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Ads that got through when the editor was sleeping
Hahaha this one is a real ad that they eventually pulled
This one I hope is fake. If not, either way I am erasing it from my hard drive... just in case :)
This one I hope is fake. If not, either way I am erasing it from my hard drive... just in case :)
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